Tue 15 Jul 2008
The Way
Posted by Rick Berry under Aikido
[3] Comments
Life is a journey, so they say. Several years ago I read a short story to my students and it went something like this: A sage encountered a young man and urged on him a journey with a map to a great treasure. The youngster started off and before long encountered a beautiful jewel on the trail. He picked it up, looked it over and threw it away saying I don’t need this as I’m getting a treasure at the end of my journey. Later he found a diamond in the dirt along the trail and discarded that also. Several days later he discovered a small bag of gold nuggets and threw it away too. This went on for a number of years and at the end of his journey found no treasure at all. Angry and disappointed he went and found the sage and yelled and screamed at him for lying. The sage merely looked at the now old man, smiled sadly and asked how he could have no treasure.
Years ago when my father drove our family to an amusement park or to the Jersey shore or Maryland beaches we children could hardly wait. I, along with my brothers and sisters wanted to know why it took so long to get there. The anticipation was almost impossible to bear. The trip home seemed to take no time at all. We were too young to understand about delayed gratification and the same thing can be said about learning Aikido. The journey is what’s important, not necessarily the destination. But we want to have it all yesterday, not work our way through the seemingly endless struggles or the many apparent failures or even to marvel at the infrequent discoveries of grace, rhythm and success. We want it all now. But here’s the paradox, If you only knew! You could have it all now. Dreams!
July 22nd, 2008 at 9:08 pm
I’ve found that the time spent not enjoying what there is, is time wasted. Such as the wait for something really fun, like a vacation. Sure, there is time to wait until you get there, but what about that feeling of knowing that soon there will be something great to enjoy? Is that in itself not a great feeling?
Sharing that feeling with the friends that are accompanying you there?
Or what about when the vacation is over and it’s night time at home. You could wish you could do it all over again and have fun like you had, and think about how it’s gone forever. But what about all the things that were shared, enjoyed, and have now become a part of your being?
I agree with you that it is the journey, not the destination, and I marvel at the amount of young people my age who are spending so much time dreading so much when there is so much to enjoy. I suppose it is like your story related, that they are looking in the wrong places.
Often during practice at aikido class I found that when I was making many mistakes on purpose, or taking awhile to explore new possibilities with limited success, my partner would quickly suggest corrections. I was surprised that they didn’t see my expression lacked exasperation or dissatisfaction and that I was doing it on purpose because I wanted to make mistakes and explore new ideas. I understand how to do it the “right way” (perhaps not as well as others, but at least generally) but that is only a guideline towards finding what works best. It is the same as telling a poet that they are making grammatical errors when they are writing poetry and finding their unique writing style. I understand why a partner corrects the other, but still, it was surprising.
Life is amazing, and I am truly discovering the smallest and most subtle things usually end up being the most important and enjoyable. Things like conflicts in a relationship; I enjoy them because I know this is two people learning and evolving intellectually, that there would be no conflict if even one party didn’t care about the other. Or the feeling of so many different variables happening in the world at the same time, out of the control of anyone. Or the creativity of the human mind. There are endless marvels if one attempts to see them.
July 28th, 2008 at 9:51 am
Be careful not to tell your girlfriend that you enjoy the conflicts that occur or you will lose her quick.
July 28th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
Good advice, but my girlfriend is a weird one. When I told her, I think she found it romantic. I don’t think she can turn down a compliment. (That counts as one, right?)