There has been to date, 14 responses to my musings on “time to leave.” Actually it felt more like I lit a fire and no one called the fire department while the house was burning down.
Well, the house is still standing and I’ve received much advice and concerns. For all those concerned, thank you. For the guy who said “nobody likes a quitter,” walk a mile in my shoes before you make that kind of comment. (just kidding)
In response to concerns of my current state of mind consider this: No one knows what the future brings. Or if there is to be a future considering the way many in the present are acting. Can you predict what will happen in the next day or two? How about in the next moment? If you could have back the last three years, what would you change and what would you do differently?
Has your training and your accomplishments been satisfactory? I can answer both yes and no to the last question. And I’m in charge of my life, am I not? Believe me I would like to think I’m in charge.
The truth of the matter is I’ve not been in command as I should be. I’ve given too much power to others. By that I mean some thoughts drifting into my subconscious during the last few years came from elsewhere and I know that should not be.
I’ve found that when I let up a little, too many random thought-patterns come in, though not necessarily from stronger minds, it’s just too many minds collectively thinking the same weak, negative thoughts. Collectively they have the capacity to wear one down in much the same way a large group can overwhelm one person physically. It just takes many, many more working overtime to do it mentally.
While that is no excuse for my outburst, it is my wakeup call. The truth of the matter is that I am, as I said in that last blog, responsible for my own happiness and well-being and no one else. I’m on this path and teaching myself during this journey and invited others to travel with me. Some travel as students, others as friends, there have even been a couple traveling as adversaries but we are all on the path. When the time is right for me to step off the path, or maybe I should say hit an intersection and head down a different path I will know it and so will many of you.
In the mean time, train on.