An interesting situation came about as I was in the locker room at the local YMCA. My senior student and I had just finished working out and we were holding an animated conversation on the problems of some students in the dojo. The discussion went like this: “While few students’ listening skills are lacking, some require the development of proper decorum in dealing with people’s feelings or the lack of natural abilities. Students of lower rank ocassionally demonstrate greater motor control and in the process intimidate some higher ranked students. (I’m talking about under black belt students who have trained longer than the ones with higher motor skills) This may happen in a dojo more often than most people think.” The discussion centered on how to reach negative thinking minds. Teaching attitudinal resolutions or how to get one person pass another’s ego problem was what we were talking about.

A gentleman at a locker close to us stated that it sounded as though we were discussing “corporate America.” In one sense we were. Life’s solutions always cross boundries. In other words, life cannot be segmented. The principles are universal and apply everywhere. While some situations need or call for specific answers, basically, how you operate in one venue is the way you operate in all avenues of your existence. We caught this man’s attention because universal principle states that “everything affects everything else” and we were just applying mental Aikido principles.

This is how I practice Aikido in everyday life; “off the mat.”

I am blessed! Many years ago I had a conversation, excuse me, I had an encounter with the father of my best friend. And for the next several weeks I am going to expound on that encounter. By the way, I got the impression that he coined these phrases.

Mr. Nichols talked to me on the subject of education, and (I’m paraphasing here) the need to seek as much of it as you can possibly obtain. As an educator, he knew the importance of learning.

After we talked (really I just listened) for several hours.I had to ask him to repeat the lessons to me slowly, so I could write down the titles of each section of the conversation;

First on this list was: “Education is a shortcut to experience.”

Consider my dilemma as I fought with myself. I had always felt that there are no shortcuts. It was necessary for me to re-evaluate some things as this man knew what he was talking about. He had a twenty-year headstart on me. Still, I wondered about his choice of words.

After much thought, my conclusion is, education IS the ‘experience’ to which he referred.

Your thoughts?

Driving is a lot like experiencing life.

If you’ve driven long enough, or you are old enough, you’ve experienced a long stretch of road where you could see for quite a long way. And if you were lucky, maybe even a mile or more. You can drive with speed then. However, most of our road experience consists of going over a hill or around a curve. In going around that curve you truly face the unknown. And such is life!

You never know what’s around that curve and if you hit it too fast and have to brake as you execute it, things can get a little uncomfortable. Especially if the curve becomes sharper or tighter than you expected. Braking is supposed to take place before entering a curve. Driving 101 it’s called. And again, such is life.

If you operate within the speed limit you usually come out alright, even if something comes up on you out of the blue.

If you’ve paid attention to the condition of your tires, you should have no problem there. If you refueled as required, again no problem. In life, you do the same, you pay attention to the details; bills, taxes and such; improve you position by making improvements on your house.

A big portion of important details revolves around relationships. Its what one does when planting crops. They must be cultivated! What does that have to do with driving you might ask?

Simply this: In order to become a good or even excellent driver requires learning to see as far down the road as possible in order to anticipate problems. If it’s raining you slow down; if snow is on the ground you slow even further. Or, you do not get behind the wheel at all.

You speed up only when you reach a straight-away and can see the road clearly.

#1. Talking about a path is not the same as walking that path. Walk the talk!

#2. You must start to eat primarily to improve your health; enjoyment of your food is a byproduct.

#3. Pay constant attention to how you feel.

#4. Be aware of your surroundings.

B. Have clarity of thought: Most thoughts come to you from outside of your body.

#1. We have need of mental exercises to keep the mind sharp.

#2. All assaults take a toll on the body, however most people do not realize that they are being assaulted dozens of times during the day. We have become a nation of hypochondriacs preyed on by the pharmaceutical and television industries. We are bombarded by mis-information and inuendo all day long by the news media to the point where there is almost no independantly critical thought.

#3. Many worry and pay much attention to what (may) happen to the exclusion of what is happening NOW. Now don’t get me wrong, it is still possible to prepare for the future, just don’t live there.

#4. Relax. Enjoy your surroundings. Practice calmness. Slow your breathing.

#5. Seek a harmonious ear. But first develop a harmonious mouth and tongue.

$6. Self-evaluate. When you practice Aikido technique focus not so much on
uke, focus on your own body. Exam whether or not you are working your body as efficiently as possible as you take uke’s balance.

All these suggestions will help you to improve your position in life as well as on the mat.

1. Improve my position!

2. Have clarity of thought!

3. Seek a harmonious ear!

4. Self-valuation!

5. Relax!

What changed is simpy this: most everyone is wearing armor now. At least most think they need it now. And if one were to follow all the newspaper articles, that would be a correct assumption.

Where can I get a set of good quality, effective and lightweight ARMOR? And how much will it cost?

Answer: The cost is quite high. In more ways than you realize, you will be paying for a lifetime and the price will be much more than money. One price is freedom. And another is fear and loathing.

Now don’t get me wrong, I not talking about something physical here. I’m talking about an attitude. The lack of understanding of how the universe works can be detrimental to the health of all, not just the usual participants. To give an example of what I mean consider this:

It takes the presence of a man to teach a boy how to be a man! This society’s young males don’t have enough real men available for examples because so many of them are stationed around the world solving the world’s problems while open communication and living conditions in and around many homes are at an all time low. Examples abound with athletes demonstrating poor choices while acting like little children celebrating actions they get paid enormous salaries to perform. I’m talking about the antics performed after scoring a touchdown or making a tackle. I mean these are grown men, are they not?

Another example: whenever something goes wrong between nations or there is a severe or ideological disagreement, war or talk of war, is the usual answer to the problem. Why do you think that for a many young man, the first thought is “to fight?” They learn this from adults. Why is the right to buy and sell arms more important than lowering the death toll on our city streets?

All of these situations lead people to seek armor for their protection. Or arms.

The answer to the situation of armor is to change our focus from constant conflict to more harmonious concepts and we will need bricks for building instead of armor.

Martial arts in this country would primarily serve for self-improvement as is the case of “wushu” in China. Most of their art is no longer practiced for conflict. Now wouldn’t that be nice?

Obstacle #2: Not realizing that all there is, is right here, right now! Which is when the first step must be made.

Obstacle #3: Not realizing that all things of value must be fought for or worked for; to get them or to keep them.

Obstacle #4: You tell me. Do you really want it?

My original reason for writing “Stepping off the Mat” was what I experienced I in 1977. I did not leave Reynolds Metals Company. It left me, plus three hundred others; it folded and I was left with a lifeline that lasted just 2 years. When I finally arrived at BP Oil in 1982, I felt some of that same negativity I felt at Reynolds in its last few years. I began to write articles for the company newsletter in an attempt to nullify that attitude. This book is more or less a result of those writings. I also became aware that we teach people, including our supervisors if any, how to treat us.

In this second edition I added a few more chapters, one entitled Blogging, where I’ve looked back at some of my blogs and the responses from readers.

There are also 2 options for purchasing “Stepping off the Mat” now; one is a
printed version and the second is a digital download version for E-Readers.

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Peace,

He wanted to know how to solve a perplexing problem. How to achieve that allusive quality known as peace of mind.

Our conversation drifted from our history together to going over his personal history to his ways of dealing with opposition and resistance to peaceful coexistance. In other words he constantly found himself sizing up possible adversaries whether they were openly aggressive or not. He was always evaluating how he would deal with the individuals around him if violence were to break out. He had been in several fights since he left The Quiet Storm many years ago.

The description of his lifestyle showed me that he is constantly on guard, always wondering about an attack, never relaxing for a moment. In my first few comments I described the proper usage of the 4 principles we utilize in Aikido and how they must practiced in everyday life while off the mat as well as during training. Then I took it a step further.

I mentioned how I stopped wearing a protective groin cup while sparring during the last four years of my active involvement teaching Tae Kwon Do. I did that because I didn’t wear one on the street and I needed to train the way I dressed on those streets. I had to learn to deal with protecting my entire organism. I pointed out that I was also training in Aikido during those last 4 or 5 years.

That was the period in which I transitioned to a new understanding of one of life’s most interesting phenomenons. Namely this: Life evolves and grows, it takes back and comes back or reflects back at us just what we expect of it.

The way I taught Quiet Storm practitioners, they developed a protective means of defense I call “armor” in order to cope with the physical world. That was primarily because we fought, and fought hard, not all the time, but most of the time. Our defense was a strong and aggressive offense which worked very well.

In those days it was not unusal for several males to walk into a karate school and challenge the instructor or students to a fight. It happened at many schools throughout the United states, but especially in California. It never happened in our school because whenever someone walked in with that certain swagger and stood in the doorway glaring around, I would simply call any two students to the middle of the floor, have them bow to me, bow to each other and free fight. I usually turned away and walked over to my senior student for a little quiet conversation while the fight was going on. After a few minutes, the transgressors, with a much different expression on their faces would look at each other, turn around and leave and never return. Well, every once in a great while one of them might come back to join, but that was very rare. After a few years of this the Chester grapevine was full of talk about those Quiet Storm people being crazy because they fought for real in that school. After a while they stopped coming in that way.

But getting back to my old student, I spoke to him of other things; Of growth, life changes and a new way of looking at life…

As you grow older you grow weaker and that armor grows heavier. My new way of thinking was to lighten the load. What changed? Take off the armor! Face life the way you were born.

For me, the first thing to go was the groin cup, then I dropped my armor. My realization was simply this: The most powerful weapon in the universe is the human mind and the most powerful force in the universe is love.

I’ve not had to defend myself in all that time. Neither mentally nor physically.

The question has been asked, do you live in a fundamentally friendly universe or a fundamentally hostile universe? How you answer this question dictates whether or not you can safely remove your armor.

If you can believe, you can achieve. For me no other defense is necessary nor desired. My expectations have changed.

Mr. Baughn’s thoughts seem to run in different directions similar to mine although I did not come to this particular idea until after he spoke on it. But I will get back to this subject in a moment.

Several months ago we had Cecelia Sensei from The Defensive Arts Center down to teach and drum up the students in preparation for Winter camp. One of my female students was in attendance but was not planning to train because she was not feeling well. She intended to just watch and hopefully learn from the observation.

I suggested that she step on the mat anyway, and after a good hug from me and a change to her gi, she did. At the end of an absolutely great class she told me she was feeling great, and (1) thanked me for inviting Cecelia Sensei, (2) thanked me for the advice, (3) suggested I write a blog on said advice.

This student was not sure if it was the hug, the advice or the training that made the difference. But back to the bedtime story moral.

The power of positive thinking! Belief in yourself! Faith! These are all absolutely necessary for growth to take place. What Mr. Baughn and I both agree on is the missing ingredient and it is hidden in plan sight. It is right in that bedside story. Juan Baughn’s focus was on the clown and the fact that he kept on asking for assistance until he found someone willing to help.

PERSEVERANCE!

While most of us focused on the little engine, consider this, “that clown never stopped looking for the solution.” He never gave up!

PERSEVERANCE!