In continuation of my last entry, I hinted at this conclusion: choice is all there really is. I say that because every action, non-action or I should say, inaction is choice, there is no chance. Just as there is no such thing as chaos. There is only “order” not yet understood.
As I contemplate this, I’m reminded of meditations I’ve experienced on occasion. For instance, during the last encounter I realized an unusual sensation, namely an openness, or emptiness. I use emptiness even though that word does not quite fit. I just cannot find one. There is a feeling of movement, sometimes inward and then on occasion, moving off as in moving to another place. The strange thing is it becomes a different place even as it feels like the same place.
I also experience a conscious decision for movement even as it’s done unconsciously, if that makes any sense to you. I seem to recall feeling my body, but from a distance. During some of my transcendent meditations, I lose awareness of my body for brief periods and on other occasions, not at all. To feel my body at an internal distance can be a rather progressive thing. At least I feel that is the case. In these endeavors I occasionally feel as if I’m on the verge of some grand experience that is difficult to explain.
Where am I going with this? It’s the reason I’m training in the martial arts. Namely, developing an intensely disciplined mind to help me move onward and inward psychically and spiritually. While I’ve physically gained good health and fitness, it is my wish that this journey will make me a better human being, with the accent on “being.”